What are you going to do if it’s the end of the world? You better go out having fun instead of stressing about it.

Kirsten Dunst

we’re dying tomorrow, drink today

“Jason, what the fuck are you doing?”

“Don’t you see the asteroids?”

“Of course I do. My question is, why are you still on the roof?”

“There’s so many.”

“Oh, really? I couldn’t tell from the epileptic light show happening beyond the kitchen window. I’m getting dizzy. Come back inside before I pass out.”

“You’re dramatic, y’know that?”

“Yeah, Mom told me I’d do great in theater growing up. Jason.”

“Going inside isn’t going to save us, babe. If we’re going to die tomorrow anyway, let’s have a drink and enjoy the show.”

“Fuck that. I’m not dying any time soon, and neither are you!”

Jason stared up at the sky, smiling contentedly as he watched starbursts of color streak across the abyssal darkness.

“Babe, it’s so incredible. Please?”

“Ugh, fuck. Now you’re just being unfair.”

“Wait, bring up the rum.”

“Rum? Why not wine? If we’re doing this, why not make it all romancey and shit? You love that type of stuff.”

“Call it nostalgia.”

Alex picked up the rum and tossed it onto the roof, scaling the clapboard after. He rolled next to Jason with a loud sigh and laid on his strong chest.

“The sky is a million times more brilliant when I share it with you.”

“I’m gonna puke.”

“Not on me, please. Try the rum. Pops bought it for us when we moved in, remember?”

“It probably tastes like mothballs and old people.”

“That’s not how alcohol works, babe.”

“It does taste good. Shit, I might just get drunk tonight.”

“That’s all I wanted.”

“But we’re gonna have a talk about the asteroids when I’m done.”

“Of course.”

the sun is missing, smoke shit

“Jason, where’s the sun?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean the sun isn’t where it should be. You know…in the sky.”

“It’s the asteroids babe, remember?”

“I don’t remember the scientists mentioning anything about that.”

“It’ll be alright, we’re together and that’s all that matters.”

“Fuck, the cat!”

“Did she not use the litter box again?”

“That little shit knocked over my drink! The carpet is gonna stain so bad.”

“Why did you leave it in her reach?”

“Because I thought it’d be cute to see her ruin our floor and waste perfectly good bourbon.”

…

“She fucking leaped onto the bookshelf and knocked it off.”

“It’s okay, there wasn’t much right?”

“Now she’s getting high on the catnip. What the everloving fuck was I thinking when I picked her muppet-faced sewer rat smelling ass off the streets?”

“That reminds me, I left a cigar and some weed in the bathroom cabinet. Bring it here?”

“You have all that and never shared with me? I’m hurt, Jason.”

“We can share it now while the sun’s heat is still here.”

“Oh God, the sun.”

“Do you want to share it or not?”

The cat jumped onto Jason’s lap and bumped her tiny head against his arm until he started petting her. She began vibrating, a toneless purr only she made. He tilted his head at Alex, who stood in the open door of their bedroom, lean arms folded over his chest.

“Just fuck you.”

“Bring it over here, babe.”

“Where’s the lighter?”

“Top shelf, right corner.”

“Pink or camo?”

“Camo doesn’t work anymore. It disappeared.”

“I’m ignoring that. How do you turn this shit on? Ow, my thumb.”

“Give it here.”

“Oh. Always knew your fingers were magic.”

“Wanna try?”

“Just give me the weed already. This is giving me a migraine.”

our neighbor died, snort his ashes

“Jason, please tell me that smell is a dead animal.”

“You know all the critters go underground when the asteroids come out, babe.”

“Oh, fuck. It’s Jimmy.”

“What happened to Jimmy?”

“Poor dude’s house got hit.”

“Is he okay?”

“He’s smoked like a T-bone steak, but otherwise he looks perfectly fine.”

“What about his dog?”

“No.”

“I never said anything.”

“Yes, you did. I could hear you thinking it.”

“That’s not possible, babe.”

“No, what’s not possible is that instead of mourning our neighbor, you want to know if his dog is okay.”

Alex stared out over their backyard to where their neighbor’s house used to be, at a massive crater of blackened furniture and broken walls. Among the rubble, almost completely unrecognizable in it’s charred state, laid Jimmy. 32 years young and burnt to a crisp.

“He’s crumbling.”

“Should we call someone?”

“Maybe we should go collect his ashes, babe.”

“And do what? Snort them?”

“Babe.”

“Don’t even fucking go there. Absolutely not.”

“It’s been over a week though.”

“You are unbearable.”

“But you love me?”

“Sadly, and that’s why there’s some under the coffee table.”

“Where the cat could reach.”

“Just go take the fucking coke and don’t remind me of the mistake.”

“She can hear you, babe.”

“Good!”

“You made her sad. Now look, she’s crying. Look what you’ve done.”

“No more coke or sex if you don’t hush.”

“You’re twisting my arm, babe.”

“Bet you’d like that.”

“Not in front of the baby.”

“She’s a fucking cat!”

“Still my baby.”

it’s the end of the world, here’s to shooting

“Jason, what are we gonna do?”

“I was gonna start with heroin.”

“No, addict. About the world.”

“Oh. Nothing?”

“We can’t just do nothing!”

“Then what would you like to do?”

“I…don’t know.”

“Come sit with me.”

“There’s no time for that, we need to do something.”

“There’s always time. We’re forever, right?”

“Yes, I do think I said that in my vows.”

“Good, then come here and enjoy this with me.”

Alex sat on the couch with Jason on one side and the cat on the other, licking her paw as if the world outside their house wasn’t going down in flames around them. He dropped the needle Jason laid out with a hiss.

“Fuck…I forgot.”

“What?”

“My medicine. It doesn’t mix well with this shit.”

“How are you feeling?”

“A little dizzy.”

“Lay down.”

“Will you be okay?”

“As long as I have you.”

“Jason.”

“Shh. It’s okay, babe.”

“Jase… Is this really how it goes down?”

“It doesn’t matter how.”

“But you won’t get your sweet ending with the- the rocking chairs on the porch, and the grandkids with the perfect little home.”

“I was never going to get that ending, babe.”

“I wanted you to.”

“Close your eyes. It’ll be over soon.”

“Hold me.”

“Are you comfortable?”

“You always took up…too much space.”

“Don’t fight it.”

“I’m not going without you.”

“I’m right behind you, babe.”

“I love you, idiot.”

“Beth wants you.”

“I can’t believe you ri- right…now.”

“I promised you forever, us.”

Jason curled around Alex’s cold body, head buried in the crook of his neck. His chest rose and fell slowly, until it eventually froze over like a lake in winter. Beth kneaded her little paws against his stomach and then spun in circles, making herself comfortable in the diminishing heat of her humans.

Author’s Note

I wrote this when i was 15, and despite how bare it is, I’m actually proud of it. There’s definitely the potential for something greater here, and I think that’s the beauty of it. It has a message, but it’s almost entirely up to interpretation. Like one of those Mad Libs I grew up playing with. Hopefully you had as much fun filling in the blanks as I did.